Friday, August 23, 2013

A humorous bit of dialogue

[There is a knock at the door.]

Me: [addressing a middle-aged man with a clipboard and a shirt proclaiming "Scott's lawn care"] Yes?

Greg: Hi, I'm Greg with Scott's lawn care.  We take care of some of your neighbors down the street.  I was just stopping by to let you know about our services.  For example, I noticed you have some clover in your lawn.

Me: That's on purpose.

Greg: [Stunned silence.  He has no idea what to reply.]

Me: [explaining kindly] We deliberately sowed clover seed in our yard.  It adds nitrogen back into the soil and is better for the environment.

Greg: [Somewhat dazed, but trying to be polite] Well, that is very interesting.  [He starts to recover.] Everything we put on your lawn at Scott's is okay for the environment.

Me: My husband and I practice frugality and voluntary simplicity.  We wouldn't be interested in a lawncare service.

Greg: Can you tell me what that entails?

Me: [cheerfully] It's a lifestyle choice that involves, among other things, not spending money on things you don't care about just to impress the neighbors.  But best of luck with the other houses on the street....

He was a nice guy and I hope I didn't come across as 'holier than thou.'  But I would no more pay for a lawncare service than I would go clad entirely in velvet or take a bath in champagne.

I didn't get around to explaining this, but apparently clover was a standard addition to grass seed packages for years.  Then in the US Army developed a deforestation chemical designed to aid in starving out the enemy.  It also worked great as a weed killer, except that it killed clover.  So the company who bought the patent started a successful marketing campaign to convince American suburbia that the perfect lawn had no clover in it.

If you are curious, you can read all about it here and here.

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